Public Transit: The On the Go Non-Fiction Stories

Dear Miss Fashionista,

I’m pretty sure it’s a safety hazard to try to curl your eyelashes on the bus that isn’t running too smoothly.

Put down the gem crested eye curler and save it for the next destination or pre plan before you have beautiful bloody curled eyelashes.

Just so you know,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear Gurl with the Hello Kitty tattoo, 

Cover that muffin… It ain’t cute nor drop dead gorgeous! 

Just keeping you in check,

Fellow Bus Rider

P.s. Happy Memorial Day (Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife, Hide Your Man) weekend aka urban weekend.

Dear females,

Please refrain from shoving your va jay jays in my face. It ain’t cute nor am I any where near interested!

Much appreciated,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear Guy with Crazy Messy 90s hair,

I applaud you for making your time useful at the bus stop and decide to run laps around the bus station.

I would join you but I prefer not to be hot and sweaty on a hot and stinky bus. Besides you look a little insane doing so.

Just so you know,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear Asian Chucky looking woman,

Please stop yelling, “Fuck you” to whomever you are talking to on the phone.

Ain’t nobody want to hear that and besides there are children on the bus.

Keep it PG Asian Chucky Woman and do yourself a favor and stop dying your hair orange.

It’s not cute.

Thanks,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear Abuela,

I don’t know about you but drinking out of a maple syrup bottle ain’t foolin nobody.

Check yourself,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear lady,

What in the world are you wearing?! Those big black trash bag are meant for trash and not to be worn as pants.

Hunny it’s 2013 and the decade for awful plastic parachute pants was left in the 90s for a reason.

Get with the time,

Fellow Bus Rider

Dear Girl that is clearly on her way to go out,

Please explain to me what you are going to do with a hair straightener at a club?

I understand you maybe in a rush, but sweetie there are no plugs on the bus to plug in your straightener. Then what are going to do at the club? Hang out by the bar or dj both while straightening your hair in your red bottoms?

Sorry but hunny that is ratchet and basic regardless of how fierce your shoes or outfit is.

From,

The Fellow Bus Rider